When we go back to a lover that treats us badly, when we cling to a job that burns us out or forces us to trade our moral principles for money, when we continue to hang out with the same group of so-called friends who keep disrespecting us, we stop being the victim. We add to our old self a custom-made product of our adaptation mechanisms, a new little voice within that insists it isn’t all that bad, or there is not better option, and which praises all the upsides of being in a really bad situation. And that’s when almost unnoticeably we turn against us and become our own aggressors, a point where we need to stop blaming others and start looking at ourselves. This is usually a very painful process and we tend naturally to avoid the discomfort of admitting our own flaws and errors, which allows the abuse to continue.
We are amazingly malleable and powerful spirits.
A sure sign we’re doing something wrong is feeling uncomfortable when we speak about the situation we are in, or avoiding the topic altogether. If something is on your mind but you’re annoyed to talk about it with your friends and you feel like no one really gets you, please stop for a moment and think about it. The unpleasantness you’re feeling may be your deep self asking for help.