Sunday, June 26, 2011

Who am I and why this blog

Hi there. Welcome!

My name is irrelevant here. I am a regular 30-something years old woman living in Bucharest, Romania. I am sitting comfortably in my living-room couch, snacking on almonds, drinking lemonade and admiring the sunny, windy day outside. I feel great. Today, more than usual, I have a clear sense of being blessed.

I am indeed blessed for being alive and healthy; for being born in a place and at a time when I am able to speak freely, earn myself a decent living, use birth control or practice religion. When I think about it, it’s just insane how good I got it. There are millions of other people for whom fresh water represents their wildest dream.

Life is a wonderful gift we should, and could, enjoy intensely every day. I know that. But, and I ashamedly admit it, that is not how I feel most of the days. By 10 a.m. I am usually disappointed, hurt and angry, by 5 p.m. I am grumpy and tired. I feel too often overwhelmed by the aggressiveness, lies, negligence, pettiness, injustice, superficiality, narrow-mindedness and cowardice of my fellows.

I am told to get over it. Grow up. Understand. Fit in. Adapt.

I tried to, I honestly did. I lost precious years fighting myself, trying to accept what I felt was just wrong. I looked the other way, but I became sad. I said the ‘right’ things, but I started experiencing anxiety attacks.

Of course I was. That s&*t is toxic.

It seems that most people have gotten used to the ugliness of this world (our own ugliness, make no mistake about it) and take it as a natural fact. And that, to me, is absurd and damaging. Things don’t have to be this way. We can live better. It is my firm belief that if we just stopped living on auto-pilot and began (re)opening our eyes on all the absurdity and wrongfulness happening around us every day, we could go back to living healthier, happier lives. If we spoke the truth more often, our lives would be simpler and more fulfilling. If we replaced these ridiculous, media-inflated role models and started paying more attention to regular people accomplishing amazing things in the most difficult circumstances, we could achieve more meaningful things and reclaim our congenital state of well-being.

It wouldn’t be perfect, but it would get better.

So help me out. Read this blog and share it with all your friends. Comment. Let’s bring together all those people who ponder on similar thoughts. I, for one, need to speak out. If you want to contribute and share your own stories with me and the world, get in contact with me at thebreakthroughepisodes[at]gmail[dot]com. Let’s support each other throughout this beautiful, surprising and sometimes excruciating road that life is.